Archive for January, 2009

Jan 26 2009

Women - Don’t Be Overemotional

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

Here is something that I’ve noticed about women. Women are just so much more dramatic than men. I say this not to criticize women, but because it raises a great issue in terms of the differences between the way men speak and the way women speak.

Women will send an email to a guy whom she’s dating - or it can even be to a male co-worker - asking a question that makes her feel vulnerable. The guy may not respond right away.

When a guy doesn’t respond to her email right away, a woman will start thinking and obsessing about it. She’ll wonder “Why hasn’t he responded? How come he didn’t respond? I don’t understand why he didn’t respond.” Then she might even lob another email to the guy saying “I don’t understand why you didn’t respond to that last email” or “Why haven’t you responded to my email?”

As the woman is going through all this thinking, analysis and sending out of that follow-up email, the truth is that many times the only reason the guy didn’t respond to that email is because he was doing something else. It’s not he didn’t want to respond to the woman’s email, it was just that he was busy doing something else.

As a woman, you’re very emotional and you react very emotionally to things. What you have to understand is that if we don’t respond to you on the very same day, it’s not because we’re callous and it’s not that we are being mean. It’s just that we may have been doing something else.

I give the same advice to men. When I give this advice to women, I always tell them to stop getting their panties in a knot and give us men the opportunity to respond to you.

Life is about being patient. Life is not about analyzing every little thing.

You don’t want to analyze very little thing until you beat it up. You want to be able to really process things over a period of time, because what things appear like right now are very often not at all what they’re really about.

So the next time you send a guy an email and he doesn’t respond within the time period you think he should, you need to exercise some patience and not immediately over think and overreact to the situation. Just chill out, relax and allow him the opportunity to send you a response.

So ladies, don’t get your panties in a knot … because, really, there can’t be too many things more uncomfortable than walking around with panties in a knot. I can only imagine what that would feel like, especially if you’re wearing certain kinds of those little g-strings.

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Jan 25 2009

Two Ways to Stop Divorce - And Only One Makes Sense

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

When you boil it all down, there are two basic ways to stop divorce. One gives you a shot at avoiding the end of a relationship. The other gives you an opportunity to create a strong, stable, loving and supportive marriage. If you want to stop a divorce, you need to realize that only one way to prevent divorce really makes sense.

You don’t want to get divorced. That’s a smart decision (unless, of course, you’re involved in a completely toxic or abusive relationship). There are so many great reasons to avoid divorce and to preserve your marriage. Things are tough right now, but you’re committed to making things work. The only question is how you’re going to go about this.

In the end, most strategies fall into one of two categories. There are those plans designed to preserve a marriage and there are those constructed with the goal of making a better marriage.

Just trying to preserve a marriage by avoiding a date in divorce court is a dead end. It’s not what you really want. You don’t want to simply keep things together if the situation isn’t going to be happy and valuable. Staying married purely for the sake of staying married isn’t very fulfilling. You don’t want to find a way to suffer through years of a lousy relationship. Your goal should go beyond simply holding things together.

That’s why approaches designed to produce a better relationship make so much more sense. Instead of focusing purely on the objective of avoiding divorce, these techniques work from the premise that you can take action to alter the fundamental nature of your relationship. Recognizing the fact that you deserve a happy and fulfilling life, these tactics work to actually create stronger, more loving, more stable and more supportive relationships.

It should be obvious which approach makes the most sense. You can save your marriage. Even if things seem completely mixed-up and horrible, it is possible to stay together. If you want to find wasy to stop divorce, you will find them. The bigger question is whether you just want to stay together or if you want to build the kind of beautiful relationship you deserve.

Your relationship is not doomed. Even if you’re the only one interested in making things work, you can save your marriage.

By following a smart, professional and proven plan designed to effectively save a marriage, you can make your relationship much stronger and better than it has ever been!

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Jan 24 2009

Women, Quit Using Finance For Romance - It is a Bad Idea

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

Women are walking around with broken hearts of being financially taken advantage of by men. The pain of knowing that someone took you for granted is very excruciating. Many women who are in this unhealthy relationships are quick to chip in and help their men financially. Fork lore has it that there is no romance without finance but it is saddening that women who expect to work with finance for romance are having it rough. These jerks disguise their inhumanity with romantic guise only to reveal their true colors after the wallets are empty. Women are contented when somebody takes good care of them but this is not expected in men. Women might give their all in hope that the care and love will be reciprocated only to be disappointed.

Women have a compromising nature and develop a soft spot for the man taking care of them. The tycoons believe in the finance for romance phenomenon. This is because the women they have spoilt with money are always by their side. Women are flexible and they do not have a wandering spirit. What is extremely unfortunate is that when wealthy women try to use the same strategy, they fail miserably. A rich girl feels she can buy a guy’s love with her hard-earned money. If you are a woman my advice to you is to let the guy love you for who you are. A healthy relationship should be on the basis of give-and-take arrangement. Guys have taken another trend of being dependent and irresponsible.

Women are serving as meal ticket for the lazy fellows whose only business is plotting. They scheme on how to borrow money from her and never pay it back. The guys sit around or pretend to be working by shifting in between jobs. The unsuspecting loving women are drained off their resources by these men and the decent guys are given a bad name. This practice is gaining popularity with time and unless women develop discerning skills, they will continue to suffer in the hands of these scheming gigolos. The modern-day macho men are not denying their gold-digging tendencies. They are proud of not sweating and yet enjoying the money bliss. Finance for romance is their tool of trade.

As a woman you should read the warning signs before you engage in a finance for romance kind of relationship. The guys are good at what they do: fooling. Circumstances compel them to use money to keep the gold diggers in their lives. Sometimes these women never learn, they get jilted and still entertain another man with the same kind of manners. Never use finance to maintain romance if you are a woman because men will use you and damp you. The pain of rejection causes a lot of pain especially when you have done all you can to create emotional stability. Life is not always fair so the more you give is not the more you receive. You should learn to evaluate the situation as you grow old because it is not all about the pursuit of fun. Look before you leap because it is not always that life has a safety net.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Finance For Romance Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success,

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Jan 22 2009

How to Attract Men For a Long Term Loving Relationship

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

Attracting the right men for a long term loving relationship is more than a one step process. Although we know in general that men are attracted to physical beauty, other aspects of what men are looking for is also important for us to know to be successful in this game of finding the right partner for life.

What you want to DO:

Step 1
Smile when you are in public. Men are attracted to friendly females. If you are smiling, that shows that you would most likely welcome a conversation.

Step 2
Be confident in yourself. Being confident in yourself makes you more attractive no matter who you are.

Step 3
Be fashionable. While you don’t have to have a million dollar wardrobe to attract men, you should understand the latest trends in fashion as men are attracted to physical beauty.

Step 4
Learn to cook. The old saying; the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. That’s a very attractive trait to attract the men you desire.

Step 5
Advance your studies. Males are attracted to educated females. Being intelligent and knowledgeable can open yourself to a wide variety of men that you otherwise would not have the self-belief to attract.

What you DO NOT want to do:

* Being Needy and Insecure With Your Man.

* Desperately Trying to Please a Man

* Leading a Man to Think You Are Not in Control Over Your Feelings and Your Behavior.

* Choosing a Partner Based On Immediate Attraction.

* Staying In a Relationship With an Emotionally Unavailable Man

When you are meeting attractive men you want to be mindful of the above pointers. Being sensitive simply means that you are in a better position of attracting the men you desire for a long term loving relationship.

Visit http://www.How2AttractMen.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships and love.

Copyright 2006, Susan Ces

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Jan 21 2009

Getting a Divorce

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

Getting a divorce can be hard. Decades ago, divorcing your spouse was not as welcome an idea as it is today. In fact, a majority of marriages in the twenty-first century end up in divorce. Still, even when filing for divorce has become a convenient marital option for most spouses, it does not necessarily mean that divorces go easily and smoothly. You’d think couples will be friendlier considering they both knew the possibility of divorce from the start, but the sad truth is, many divorce cases are vicious and downright messy.

Just thinking about getting a divorce is enough to drive a married person crazy. There are so many details to think about and the consequences can be damaging, especially when the couple involved has children. No matter how old the children are, the splitting up of their parents is most probable to be traumatic. Aside from the impact a divorce can have on the children, there’s also the finances to be considered, such as the alimony and the financial support for the children.

There are many tips around that are meant to clue in people on how to get a divorce. Interested parties can also consult with public attorneys who can inform them of their options free of or with a minimal charge. Chances are, however, most expert lawyers on divorce will demand high fees. In this aspect, it is wise to read up on money-savvy tips for the protection of one’s assets when getting a divorce seems inevitable.

For more practical advices regarding divorce:

http://How-To-Divorce-Tips.com

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Jan 20 2009

Relationship Advice: 10 Warning Signs of an Impending Emotional Affair

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

1) Thinking or saying, “we’re just friends.”

If you have caught yourself thinking or saying, “but we’re just friends” you are probably already in trouble.

“But we’re just friends” are four of the most dangerous words for a relationship. These words are usually said to rationalize something you know is wrong. Rationalize is also spelled “rational lies.”

2) Thinking and daydreaming about the person more
and more often

Ths should be a loud screaming clue. Do you think and day dream about your regular friends in this way.

3) Looking forward to the next time you can see
and/or talk to the person

If you feel excitement and anticipation, a quickening of your pulse, as you get ready to see this person, watch out.

4) Wanting to tell them first when something
happens in your day

This means that this person has become your primary emotional confidant.

5) Sharing intimate emotions

This flows naturally from this person being your primary emotional confidant. Because emotional affairs can be harder to break than purely physical ones, you can get trapped right here.

6) Sharing intimate problems

Especially dangerous if you are sharing problems in your marriage or relationship with this other person.

7) You believe that this person understands you
much more than your spouse

Of course it looks like they do. That is part of the illusion of the affair. This belief draws you away from your partner and toward the other person.

8) Keeping secrets and covering up

Secrets bond two people together against a third person.

9) Giving gifts you would not normally give to a
friend

Things to wear, jewelry, and other intimate gifts come with a message: we are very close.

10) Spending more and more time alone

I’ve heard so many people tell me that this was the one that pushed them over the edge. They had promised themselves that nothing would happen, but the temptation and abailablity of time alone was too much to resist.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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Jan 19 2009

Men: The Most Important Parts To Your Online Dating Success

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

Once you have decided that you are going to go into the world of online dating or are already in that world there are two things that will play a large part in determining your success online with women.

  1. Your Online Profile
  2. Communicating With Women Online

Men who are successful online know that if you mess up either one of those areas your chances of success with women online are going to be slim.

Below I will briefly discuss the importance of both your profile and communicating with women online.

Your Profile:

Consider your profile your way of saying hello to women, for the most part this is where women are going to form their initial impression of you.

A good profile that stands out from all the rest is going to go a long way in a woman’s mind.

A average to bad profile that blends in with all the rest is going to get closed and never opened again by most if not all women.

Communicating with women Online:

Offline if you where communicating with a woman your words might only account for ten percent of your conversation at best.

However, online your words will account for most if not all of your conversation.

Knowing this its important that you not only choose your words carefully but make sure that your words will relate with her as well.

The easiest way to do that is simply to read her profile and look for the keywords that she uses and use those words in your emails and other communications with her.

Bottom line is if you have a good profile and communicate online with women in a way that speaks to her personally you will enjoy an incredible amount of success with women online and off.

Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men and creator of Dating Advice and Tips for Men which provides an abundance of information for men on dating and more. If you would like more information on how to attract, seduce and meet women sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men today.

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Jan 18 2009

3 Things That Women Absolutely Hate About Men - You Should Never Ever Dare to Do These

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

There are certain things men do which are deadly attraction killers and women absolutely start hating men who tend to do it…The funny part is that to most men it seems normal in the moment and they keep on doing it thinking it would please the woman and they would get the desired results out of the situation…But they don’t even know that they’re digging a deep hole for themselves they would struggle to get out of. Read on to discover what these things are and how you can avoid doing them…

Showing her that you are at the mercy of her attention- A lot of guys do this thing without even knowing that they are actually doing it. You see they start basing their whole concept on the type of attention they get from the girl. As long as they get it…it’s fine and dandy but if they are not getting it they start trying too hard to seek it. You see this would only show the girl that you are just too desperate for her attention and she would instantly start playing too hard to get.

Making it overly obvious to her that you like her too much- Now this might not be considered as strange according to a lot of men out there but the fact is that if a girl knows that she can easily have you she would never try to have you. Women lose all attraction towards guys who are just too easy to get for them.

Not being in control of the situation- If you don’t control the whole situation she will…It’s as simple as that. And the fact of the matter is that the moment the girl starts controlling the situation she would drive you around and at the same time would get rid of you even if you want to stick around.

What you don’t know yet- Ever tried to wonder what’s in a woman’s mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don’t want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most “Shocking Secrets” women don’t want men to know. This is something you can’t afford to miss at any cost click here- Tell Me The Secrets

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Jan 16 2009

Advice on a Relationship - Who Benefits From Change in the Relationship

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

Couples who needs advice on a relationship are looking for a solution to their problems. One of the problems that seems to come up is, one of the two are not willing to change their way of doing things. Which can be understandable, if that’s what your partner was doing before the two of you met.

If you and your lover have been together for months or even years think back to the time when the two of you met. If they had certain things they always did like hanging out with the boys on Friday nights. Why do you want him give up, his night with the boys? You can not make a person change, that has to come from within themselves, when they are ready.

Once they feel like they are being pressured into doing something they do not want to do, they will start to get mad about it, and that’s when the fighting starts. Not only have you made them upset, they just might start doing something else to get on your nerves.

It boils down to this, if a person really wants to change their ways the first person they are going to do it for is themselves. Plus, it all depends on what’s at stake, if you can live with the problem and it is not causing any trouble then let it go. But, if it is something that he or she knows that will make you mad, then there may be a possibility of them changing.

Before you go seeking advice on a relationship, set down with your better half and discuss the matter, you might find out there is something they want you to change. Change is good as long as the both of you benefit from it.

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Jan 14 2009

Dating Advice - Five Ways to Cope With the Holidays

Published by jakob under Uncategorized

Rosh Hashanah is coming fast. Then there is Thanksgiving. Christmas. Hanukkah. Are you doomed to a miserable holiday if your relatives drive you crazy? What if you are just introducing your family to a serious date, someone who could be the One? Does Aunt Millie always cluck about what a shame it is that you are single? Even if your family is a battlefield, or you are super stressed-out you can turn any holiday one of the best holidays you’ve ever had. Simply use my five-step dating advice “secret sauce” for singles that have to deal with problem relatives at the traditional family gatherings:

1. Shock your troublesome ‘bad egg’ relatives into being cordial or even likable. List three things, even small things, like hair color or crossword puzzle ability, you truly appreciate about them. Work these things into your conversation in an authentic way at the beginning of the family visit. This will tend to shock these ‘bad eggs’ into being ‘good eggs.’

2. Use the therapist’s secret. When you’re facing a battleaxe relative, win by refusing to fight. Accept comments about your appearance, weight or singlehood that used to upset you with a nod and say “That’s the way you see it.” This really throws them and saves you from a lot of holiday stress.

3. Stop worrying about looking good. Maybe you’ve just broken up with someone who your parents liked. You feel loser-like, vulnerable and lonely coming to the family dinner. You worry about how you are dressed, the extra pounds you’ve put on and various other assorted silly ideas. Realize that the way they see you doesn’t really matter. Underneath whatever they say, they probably love you to pieces. So forget about looking good. Your real job is to have fun and enjoy yourself.

4. Set up a positive bond when a new boy/girlfriend comes to a holiday dinner with your family. Beforehand, tell both the family and your friend all the “good news” about each other. Introduce discussion topics both have interest in. If you are the newbie in the family, bring an incredibly thoughtful gift for the occasion, ask questions and listen a lot. Appreciate any and all good things about the meal, the house and the family members and remember to tell them what you enjoyed!

5. Set your intention for this holiday. You can make up your mind to have a happy holiday, no matter what your family relationships are like. Decide something like, “This is the happiest Rosh Hashanah or Thanksgiving I’ve ever had.” Remember to use the present tense. Instead of engaging in family relationship battles, as soon as it’s possible, give yourself your own fun-excuse yourself and go for a walk or make snow angels with the kids. As it is in other life situations like work and career, setting your intention, is the most important step. This holiday you will probably be just as happy as you decide to be.

You can learn much more about the latest research on creating intentions especially in dealing with friends, frenemies and family in my new book, Love in 90 Days The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.

Psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner, appeared on Oprah & is a frequent guest on the Today Show. For 25+ years she has helped thousands of single women find love. Her acclaimed new book is Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. For her etips, blog, dating articles, daily affirmations & discussion forum visit http://www.lovein90days.com

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